asker

Anonymous asked: In response to your Mean Girls rant, i don't think the problem was that Janis didn't want to be known as a lesbian, it's that she didn't want to be mislabeled by her entire high school, who would undoubtedly believe Regina over her anyway. Her entire dating life could have been ruined. The entire school would have a false view of her, and they already had a negative view to begin with.

Okay, but Regina told everyone Janis was a lesbian in 8th grade — everyone but Cady already knew about that rumor, so why was it so awful to tell Cady something that was common knowledge/old news (even in the cotnext of “Regina started a rumor in junior high…”)

And, really, “her entire high school” would take Regina — who they’ve all felt personally victimized by — more seriously than Janis re: Janis’ sexuality? 
"Her entire dating life could have been ruined?" Wow. Her dating life. So much more important than that time her entire middle school stopped speaking to her. Like, if your whole school is going to shun you for being a girl who likes girls, the problem goes beyond “But what if I wanted to date a boy?”

Like, I can see being angry that Regina started a rumor — any rumor — that ruined her life. There are lots of people angry about the burn book for that express reason, but no one — not the girls having sex with the gym teacher, not the girl who made out with a hot dog, not even Damien, who is “almost too gay to function” (rumors that all have a grain of truth, btw) — gets the level of bullying Janis did over the “lesbian” rumor.

So it seems like the problem goes beyond “that isn’t who I am” and into the territory of “being perceived as a lesbian is the worst possible thing that can happen.”

"Mean Girls" Rant

raptortooth:

disneyfeminist:

evelynvincible:

It’s suddenly striking me how weird it is that the entire impetus for the plot of Mean Girls is… homophobia? lesbophobia? 

The thing Janis hates Regina for — what motivates her to contrive to “ruin [Regina’s] life” — is that Regina started a rumor that she, Janis, was a lesbian.
Not just that her one-time best friend started [a nasty rumor] about her.
Not that her one-time best friend outed her.
But that the [nasty, false rumor] was that she was a lesbian.

And then that keeps being a thing she’s insecure about for the rest of her adolescence.
All her friends at school stop talking to her, presumably because they think she’s a lesbian. It’s so bad that she has to drop out of school.
In high school, she doesn’t want Cady to even know about the lesbian rumor, because it’s so awful for people to think you might be a lesbian, right?

Her best friend is openly gay, but the possibility of anyone even thinking she might be a lesbian is socially unacceptable.

But no one says anything about that. No one questions it.
No one’s like, “Why are you so mad that people might think you’re a lesbian? Isn’t your best friend gay? Why would people like you less because you’re a lesbian?”
How weird is that?
Then at the end, she ends up with a dude. Like, wouldn’t it have been better if she turned out to actually be a lesbian who felt betrayed by being outed by a person she thought was her friend? What if the problem wasn’t “fear of being a lesbian,” but rather “fear of being hurt by people you trust?”

The movie is so uncritical of the perspective that being a lesbian is the worst thing that can happen to a preteen/teen girl. Like, we’re supposed to just accept that having people think you’re a lesbian is worth ruining lives over.
I’m so uncomfortable with this right now.

"Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know right, it’s soooo embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then in eighth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana—and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like "Why didn’t you call me back?!" and I’d be like, "Uh, why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday party, which was an all girls pool party, I was like, "Janyce, I can’t invite you because I think you’re a lesbian" I mean, I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party! There were going to be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean right, she was a lesbian! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then she dropped out of school ‘cause no one would talk to her and she came back in the fall for high school and her hair was all cut off and she was totally weird and now I guess she’s on crack.”

Seems like the issue was that she was betrayed by her friend and completely isolated. 9 out of 10 queer students report having been bullied because of their sexuality. Pretty sure that’s why it was a bad thing to be suspected of being a lesbian. How is that not an accurate portrayal of high school, that people are shitty to queer people?

Yeah and nobody’s going “why would people pick on you for being a lesbian?” because literally everybody knows the answer to that. This movie was made ten years ago, right? Being gay was socially unacceptable. I’m pretty sure it still is.

Also she wasn’t acting like it’s soooo terrible that people thought she was a lesbian, she was reacting to actually being given a lot of shit about it. She didn’t really deny it in the movie, even.

First of all, her best friend, Damian, is openly gay and, while he does receive some level of bullying (having shoes thrown at him during the winter concert, for example) it is NOTHING on the scale of being driven out of school because your classmates will no longer acknowledge you exist.
So, at the very least, there is a distinction being made that male homosexuality is less taboo than female homosexuality. 

Second, she doesn’t “deny” it, but the movie ends with her apparently happily dating Kevin Gnapoor, which is a heterosexual relationship. The only romantic relationship she has is a heterosexual one.

"Mean Girls" Rant

disneyfeminist:

evelynvincible:

It’s suddenly striking me how weird it is that the entire impetus for the plot of Mean Girls is… homophobia? lesbophobia? 

The thing Janis hates Regina for — what motivates her to contrive to “ruin [Regina’s] life” — is that Regina started a rumor that she, Janis, was a lesbian.
Not just that her one-time best friend started [a nasty rumor] about her.
Not that her one-time best friend outed her.
But that the [nasty, false rumor] was that she was a lesbian.

And then that keeps being a thing she’s insecure about for the rest of her adolescence.
All her friends at school stop talking to her, presumably because they think she’s a lesbian. It’s so bad that she has to drop out of school.
In high school, she doesn’t want Cady to even know about the lesbian rumor, because it’s so awful for people to think you might be a lesbian, right?

Her best friend is openly gay, but the possibility of anyone even thinking she might be a lesbian is socially unacceptable.

But no one says anything about that. No one questions it.
No one’s like, “Why are you so mad that people might think you’re a lesbian? Isn’t your best friend gay? Why would people like you less because you’re a lesbian?”
How weird is that?
Then at the end, she ends up with a dude. Like, wouldn’t it have been better if she turned out to actually be a lesbian who felt betrayed by being outed by a person she thought was her friend? What if the problem wasn’t “fear of being a lesbian,” but rather “fear of being hurt by people you trust?”

The movie is so uncritical of the perspective that being a lesbian is the worst thing that can happen to a preteen/teen girl. Like, we’re supposed to just accept that having people think you’re a lesbian is worth ruining lives over.
I’m so uncomfortable with this right now.

"Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know right, it’s soooo embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then in eighth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana—and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like "Why didn’t you call me back?!" and I’d be like, "Uh, why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday party, which was an all girls pool party, I was like, "Janyce, I can’t invite you because I think you’re a lesbian" I mean, I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party! There were going to be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean right, she was a lesbian! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then she dropped out of school ‘cause no one would talk to her and she came back in the fall for high school and her hair was all cut off and she was totally weird and now I guess she’s on crack.”

Seems like the issue was that she was betrayed by her friend and completely isolated. 9 out of 10 queer students report having been bullied because of their sexuality. Pretty sure that’s why it was a bad thing to be suspected of being a lesbian. How is that not an accurate portrayal of high school, that people are shitty to queer people?

That is definitely a valid way of interpreting the story, but I think I’d be more sympathetic to that interpretation if she was actually a lesbian. If it turned out that Janis was actually attracted to women, I’d be 100% behind that interpretation.

But the film presents Janis as a straight girl whose life is ruined by being associated with lesbians, and yet that being a lesbian is actually an acceptable way to be is never considered by anybody in the film. Not even in the chirpy all-is-well-for-everyone ending is it acknowledged that female same-sex attraction is an okay thing.

Like, there are girls of varying ethnicities and body types and levels of physical ability all from different cliques who all make peace by the end of the movie, but there is no canon lesbian character welcomed into the fold.
And for a movie that makes a big deal about how being a lesbian ruins lives — probably a more pressing issue than the mathletes being “social suicide,” or being disallowed from sitting with the clique at lunch — that’s a big oversight.
For a movie whose endgame is putting “girl world […] at peace,” leaving out the fact that high school girls come in varying sexual orientations — including one expressly demonized in the film — that’s a huge oversight.

I fucking love rereading stories and finding foreshadowing/dramatic irony.

Tyrion rubbed irritably at the scab. “Perhaps I should have a new [nose] made of gold.” — Tyrion Lannister, Tyrion II, A Storm of Swords
There was this to be said of weddings over battles at least; it was less likely that someone would cut off your nose. — Tyrion being wrong, Tyrion I, A Storm of Swords

"Mean Girls" Rant

It’s suddenly striking me how weird it is that the entire impetus for the plot of Mean Girls is… homophobia? lesbophobia? 

The thing Janis hates Regina for — what motivates her to contrive to “ruin [Regina’s] life” — is that Regina started a rumor that she, Janis, was a lesbian.
Not just that her one-time best friend started [a nasty rumor] about her.
Not that her one-time best friend outed her.
But that the [nasty, false rumor] was that she was a lesbian.

And then that keeps being a thing she’s insecure about for the rest of her adolescence.
All her friends at school stop talking to her, presumably because they think she’s a lesbian. It’s so bad that she has to drop out of school.
In high school, she doesn’t want Cady to even know about the lesbian rumor, because it’s so awful for people to think you might be a lesbian, right?

Her best friend is openly gay, but the possibility of anyone even thinking she might be a lesbian is socially unacceptable.

But no one says anything about that. No one questions it.
No one’s like, “Why are you so mad that people might think you’re a lesbian? Isn’t your best friend gay? Why would people like you less because you’re a lesbian?”
How weird is that?
Then at the end, she ends up with a dude. Like, wouldn’t it have been better if she turned out to actually be a lesbian who felt betrayed by being outed by a person she thought was her friend? What if the problem wasn’t “fear of being a lesbian,” but rather “fear of being hurt by people you trust?”

The movie is so uncritical of the perspective that being a lesbian is the worst thing that can happen to a preteen/teen girl. Like, we’re supposed to just accept that having people think you’re a lesbian is worth ruining lives over.
I’m so uncomfortable with this right now.

Incidentally, I’ve been waiting to turn 23 on the 23rd for literally as long as I can remember.

feeling 22 for approximately 20 more minutes

Album Art

yball:

22 - Taylor Swift

My last day of feeling 22 is, incidentally, the 22nd (read: today).

ArtistTaylor Swift
Title22
AlbumRed

plasticseeds:

anepictimelord:

baratheon:

It really boggles my mind that two men looked at asoiaf and said to themselves “you know what this needs? more rape.”

It already was sexual assault. I feel like they didn’t want to send the message of if you assault someone and then they consent it is OK.

^this.
And people saying “she was only saying no to the location not him so its not rape” to this I say “you are truly lost now theon greyjoy” lol like really? How about next time you’re at a funeral for a family member with your significant other he bends you over and starts fucking you over the casket even if you don’t want to get fucked by him right then and there and said no, but ya know you fuck him at home so it’s okay! Who cares if its at a funeral for your family member over the body, minor distinction!
Like are you stupid? Or a rapist yourself? Or just really morbidly sexual and an exhibitionist?

I am *always* dubious when someone thinks the showrunners of Game of Thrones wanted to “send [a] message” about the importance of consent. This show invents/exacerbates so much violence against their female characters, and yet the director still doesn’t realize he filmed a rape scene.

They take a scene from the books in which there is at least the possibility of an argument that there was consent, make it into an unambiguously violent rape, and then go on record and say that the scene they filmed was consensual.

The original scene may have been sexual assault, but the scene in the show was more violent, more aggressive, and the director still doesn’t think it was rape.

So people need to stop fucking saying that they made the scene an unambiguous rape to make a point about the horror of rape, because the fuckers making this show do not have women’s best interests at heart. 

Literal CreepyShipping

Literal CreepyShipping

restress:

arbor-golddigger:

I don’t understand how book readers are saying this scene was 100% consensual or loving in the books, because it really wasn’t.
Things that point to the scene being rape:
Cersei refuses Jaime initially.
He ignores her and kisses her so she can’t really speak.
She is physically resisting him.
He never heard her.
I repeat: He never heard her. Cersei is protesting verbally, giving Jaime reasons why she does not want to have sex with him at that time in that place and He never heard her.
Does that sound like enthusiastic consent to y’all, cause it sure as hell doesn’t to me.
Not to mention this scene feeds into the whole “Ignore her if she says no because she’ll be totally into it once you slip her the D” bullshit, which, imo at least, is actually sending a more fucked up message than the message sent by depicting the scene as pretty unambiguous rape—at least from the viewer’s perspective.  I’d seriously doubt that Jaime considered it “real” rape, just like many people IRL don’t consider it rape if it’s with someone they’ve previously had consensual sex with.  Not saying it’s right, just saying I don’t think Jaime meant to hurt Cersei, but he did, because their relationship is ultimately destructive and unhealthy and I really don’t know how book readers or show watchers could read it as anything but.

she said ‘do me now’

Possibly in the context of, “I obviously cannot make you stop, so please get this over with.”
Recall that he’s already between her legs with his hand up her skirt when she says that. This scene is from Jaime’s point of view, so Cersei’s actual logic behind those lines is debatable.

restress:

arbor-golddigger:

I don’t understand how book readers are saying this scene was 100% consensual or loving in the books, because it really wasn’t.

Things that point to the scene being rape:

Cersei refuses Jaime initially.

He ignores her and kisses her so she can’t really speak.

She is physically resisting him.

He never heard her.

I repeat: He never heard her. Cersei is protesting verbally, giving Jaime reasons why she does not want to have sex with him at that time in that place and He never heard her.

Does that sound like enthusiastic consent to y’all, cause it sure as hell doesn’t to me.

Not to mention this scene feeds into the whole “Ignore her if she says no because she’ll be totally into it once you slip her the D” bullshit, which, imo at least, is actually sending a more fucked up message than the message sent by depicting the scene as pretty unambiguous rape—at least from the viewer’s perspective.  I’d seriously doubt that Jaime considered it “real” rape, just like many people IRL don’t consider it rape if it’s with someone they’ve previously had consensual sex with.  Not saying it’s right, just saying I don’t think Jaime meant to hurt Cersei, but he did, because their relationship is ultimately destructive and unhealthy and I really don’t know how book readers or show watchers could read it as anything but.

she said ‘do me now’

Possibly in the context of, “I obviously cannot make you stop, so please get this over with.”

Recall that he’s already between her legs with his hand up her skirt when she says that. This scene is from Jaime’s point of view, so Cersei’s actual logic behind those lines is debatable.

I 0/10 recommend reading any articles whatsoever about last night’s episode of Game of Thrones, because apparently there are a terrifying number of people out there who either don’t think what happened to Cersei was rape, think Cersei deserved to be raped, or choose to describe the scene as a “taboo sex scene” that just happens to also include rape.

Like, OK, if you think of RAPE as just “taboo” sex, you need to stop what you’re doing, open a new tab, and google yourself a mental health professional to whom you can talk about your obvious and terrifying issues.

arbor-golddigger:

I don’t understand how book readers are saying this scene was 100% consensual or loving in the books, because it really wasn’t.
Things that point to the scene being rape:
Cersei refuses Jaime initially.
He ignores her and kisses her so she can’t really speak.
She is physically resisting him.
He never heard her.
I repeat: He never heard her. Cersei is protesting verbally, giving Jaime reasons why she does not want to have sex with him at that time in that place and He never heard her.
Does that sound like enthusiastic consent to y’all, cause it sure as hell doesn’t to me.
Not to mention this scene feeds into the whole “Ignore her if she says no because she’ll be totally into it once you slip her the D” bullshit, which, imo at least, is actually sending a more fucked up message than the message sent by depicting the scene as pretty unambiguous rape—at least from the viewer’s perspective.  I’d seriously doubt that Jaime considered it “real” rape, just like many people IRL don’t consider it rape if it’s with someone they’ve previously had consensual sex with.  Not saying it’s right, just saying I don’t think Jaime meant to hurt Cersei, but he did, because their relationship is ultimately destructive and unhealthy and I really don’t know how book readers or show watchers could read it as anything but.

The level of consent Cersei gives in the books is debatable. The scene in the book is at least a little ambiguous, because at the point that Cersei gives in, her participation appears to be enthusiastic. In the books it is presented as Cersei giving in to a mutual desire — the lines about her telling him he’s “home,” etc. — indicate that she was resisting out of a sense of propriety, but that scene is from Jaime’s point of view, so it probably didn’t even occur to him that what he was doing might be rape.Of course, it shouldn’t matter WHY she’s saying no, or whether he thinks her reason is good enough. And is her admonition that he “hurry” from enthusiasm, or is it that since she can’t make him stop, she wants him get it over with quickly?There is some room for interpretation here, but obviously there is a strong argument to be made that this is, in fact, a rape scene.
But the show framed that scene as him raping her out of spite, and at no point did she give anything even resembling consent.He calls her a “hateful woman” and then forces himself on her.This isn’t a man blinded by desire, or a man who “knows her well enough to know what she really wants.” It would still be shitty if that were his attitude about it, but not as shitty as him deliberately using sex as a tool for violence.
Even taking the original scene as rape, the context in which it occurred was very different. Jaime and Cersei both have unhealthy attitudes about love and relationships; Jaime’s desire to be with her is routinely at odds with what’s socially acceptable, and the ways in which he pursues that desire are often objectively morally unsound. His interactions with Cersei in the Sept are categorically similar to when he tried to murder Bran: an unethical attempt to bring stability to their relationship. And even if his actions are criminal, his intention is… not “good,” but at least  in line with a distinct moral code. 
The scene on HBO does not align with ANY moral code. There is no possible justification for Jaime’s behavior in that scene. And this is not the first time that HBO has taken a scene in which consent was at least theoretically given (one could also argue that Dany’s consent to Drogo was taken under duress, as she had already been married to him against her will, and displeasing him would have potentially dangerous consequences from him, his men, and her brother) and turn it into an unambiguous, violent rape.And that’s in addition to the heaps of other HBO-invented violence against women. Violence and sexual violence are part of the world of ASoIaF, but it is never presented as uncritically as it is on HBO.
And, considering that the director didn’t even realize he was filming a rape scene, I’d question whether the decision to amp up the violence and hatred was actually done to make a point about the horror of sexual violence.

arbor-golddigger:

I don’t understand how book readers are saying this scene was 100% consensual or loving in the books, because it really wasn’t.

Things that point to the scene being rape:

Cersei refuses Jaime initially.

He ignores her and kisses her so she can’t really speak.

She is physically resisting him.

He never heard her.

I repeat: He never heard her. Cersei is protesting verbally, giving Jaime reasons why she does not want to have sex with him at that time in that place and He never heard her.

Does that sound like enthusiastic consent to y’all, cause it sure as hell doesn’t to me.

Not to mention this scene feeds into the whole “Ignore her if she says no because she’ll be totally into it once you slip her the D” bullshit, which, imo at least, is actually sending a more fucked up message than the message sent by depicting the scene as pretty unambiguous rape—at least from the viewer’s perspective.  I’d seriously doubt that Jaime considered it “real” rape, just like many people IRL don’t consider it rape if it’s with someone they’ve previously had consensual sex with.  Not saying it’s right, just saying I don’t think Jaime meant to hurt Cersei, but he did, because their relationship is ultimately destructive and unhealthy and I really don’t know how book readers or show watchers could read it as anything but.

The level of consent Cersei gives in the books is debatable. The scene in the book is at least a little ambiguous, because at the point that Cersei gives in, her participation appears to be enthusiastic. 
In the books it is presented as Cersei giving in to a mutual desire — the lines about her telling him he’s “home,” etc. — indicate that she was resisting out of a sense of propriety, but that scene is from Jaime’s point of view, so it probably didn’t even occur to him that what he was doing might be rape.
Of course, it shouldn’t matter WHY she’s saying no, or whether he thinks her reason is good enough. 
And is her admonition that he “hurry” from enthusiasm, or is it that since she can’t make him stop, she wants him get it over with quickly?
There is some room for interpretation here, but obviously there is a strong argument to be made that this is, in fact, a rape scene.

But the show framed that scene as him raping her out of spite, and at no point did she give anything even resembling consent.
He calls her a “hateful woman” and then forces himself on her.
This isn’t a man blinded by desire, or a man who “knows her well enough to know what she really wants.” It would still be shitty if that were his attitude about it, but not as shitty as him deliberately using sex as a tool for violence.

Even taking the original scene as rape, the context in which it occurred was very different. Jaime and Cersei both have unhealthy attitudes about love and relationships; Jaime’s desire to be with her is routinely at odds with what’s socially acceptable, and the ways in which he pursues that desire are often objectively morally unsound.
His interactions with Cersei in the Sept are categorically similar to when he tried to murder Bran: an unethical attempt to bring stability to their relationship. And even if his actions are criminal, his intention is… not “good,” but at least  in line with a distinct moral code. 

The scene on HBO does not align with ANY moral code. There is no possible justification for Jaime’s behavior in that scene.
And this is not the first time that HBO has taken a scene in which consent was at least theoretically given (one could also argue that Dany’s consent to Drogo was taken under duress, as she had already been married to him against her will, and displeasing him would have potentially dangerous consequences from him, his men, and her brother) and turn it into an unambiguous, violent rape.
And that’s in addition to the heaps of other HBO-invented violence against women. 
Violence and sexual violence are part of the world of ASoIaF, but it is never presented as uncritically as it is on HBO.

And, considering that the director didn’t even realize he was filming a rape scene, I’d question whether the decision to amp up the violence and hatred was actually done to make a point about the horror of sexual violence.